Ask Kiyone
by The Incredible Dancing Quatre
Summary: Kiyone is my advice columnist, but she makes a startling discovery working late one night.


I don't own Kiyone or McDonald's. Kiyone belongs to Pioneer and AIC. Getting  
money from me is useless for I am poor. I am not the real Quatre.  
  
"Ask Kiyone"  
  
by John "The Incredible Dancing Quatre" Robertson  
  
-based on the advice column at John's Tenchi Muyo! Page  
  
  
It was completely dark in the office, almost. In a nice desk by a moonlit window, Kiyone Makibi grudgingly tried to write the final copy of today's column. The signs of fatigue were already present as her normally beautiful teal tresses were a tousled mess. If she didn't get her work in by midnight, John would take away her vacation days. I really need this vacation, she thought. It had been quite some time since John and the Galaxy Police had granted her leave at the same time. She had all week to finish her article, but she was on a stake-out for drug smugglers on Mars.  
"Dear Kiyone, I have a problem..." The words seemed to blur on the page before her.  
"I have to get ahold of myself!" she blurted as she tried to recompose herself. But she couldn't. The strains of sleep depravation had taken hold of her, and she could barely fight back. Her eyelids blinked heavily as she sloppily marked her pen across the paper. She yearned to give in to sleep. All she needed was 5 minutes, just to rest her eyes. That's all. What was she thinking? She had been planning her private trip  
to the Caymans for months now. The sand and the sun. Just a week to do nothing. A week with no crime or deadlines to worry about, absolutely nothing to do at all. Just a... wait! I have to concentrate! I need some coffee.  
Kiyone stretched a little and slowly emerged from her swivel chair. She scratched the small of her back where it had rested against the cheap, plastic upholstery. After taking a moment to gather her thoughts, she found her way to the coffeemaker and started to brew a new pot. "I hope I'm doing this right. I wish I paid attention to John when he was showing me how to work this thing. Why is the coffee coming out in lumps?" She stared at the wet mass in the pot for a minute before she shrugged and decided that chunky coffee was better than no coffee. She let a cup of the sweet-smelling substance cool a little before she finally said, "Bottoms up!" She downed it quickly so she wouldn't prolong her suffering. Well, it's not as bad as it looks, she thought and took another gulp. At least I'll have a little energy to finish my work now.  
After tossing the used container into the nearest waste basket, she started to head back to her desk. On the way, however, she passed John's office door. I can't help wonder what's he's keeping in there, she thought as she pressed her face lightly against the window. There was an office pool over what he had been keeping a secret in his office. He always kept the door locked when he was away and closed the venetian blinds when he was inside. Most of the office thought that John might be stalking Kiyone, but she didn't believe it. Or at least she didn't want to. She gazed harder at the inside of the darkened office and she leaned her shoulder against the door. It opened.  
John must not have closed the door all the way, she thought. This is my chance to see what he's been up to. Kiyone's police experience served her well as she had no problem locating John's private files without making a noise. She pulled out the first file gently and eased into John's posh La-Z-Boy chair. The folder read "McDonald's File". Kiyone briefly fantasized about a juicy Big Mac. McDonald's just happened to be Kiyone's favorite fast food restaurant. She opened the folder and pulled out a picture. Why does John have a picture of the inside of a McDonald's. Upon closer inspection, she noticed a young woman in the corner of the picture stuffing her face so full of French fries that she couldn't even close her mouth. Man, how can anybody bare to look at me  
when I gorge myself like that. Wait a second... me?  
"That's me!" she screamed as she threw the photo to the ground in complete disgust. She quickly cupped her hands over her mouth. Somebody else might be working late tonight. She tip-toed over to the door and peeked her head outside slowly. Good, nobody's around. She uneasily made her way back to the chair and plopped herself down. "My boss is a pervert..." is all she said as she buried her face in her hands.  
Think, Kiyone! John may be fantasizing about me, but I still need my vacation. Now, I'll never be able to concentrate on my work. Slowly, thoughts swirled through Kiyone's mind. Then, her head popped up as if struck by divine inspiration. How could she not have thought of this immediately? Frantically, she started rummaging through John's desk drawer. She procured a pen and small notepad. She flipped it open to the first blank sheet and began to write.  
When she was done, she gently placed the note on the center of John's ink blotter and lifted herself out of her chair. Kiyone's previously sullen face had now been replaced by a calmer, more content expression. She walked out the door and shut it behind her, a folder secure under her arm. Without another thought, Kiyone put all of her paperwork in her briefcase and strolled out the doors of the office. She started to dream of her upcoming vacation...  
  
  
  
Kiyone's note:  
  
Dear John,  
  
I was just thinking that I should get a week's extension on my column. I know it's due by midnight, but I need to rest up so I can pack my bags tomorrow for my vacation. Have you ever been to the Cayman Islands, John? I hear they're very nice this time of year. Oh, by the way, I found some pictures in your desk drawer. I thought they were pretty funny. I bet the rest of the office'll get a kick out of them, too. Unless, that is, you don't want me to show everybody. I just hate keeping secrets, though.   
  
Love,  
Kiyone  
  
PS When I get back in a week, you're going to have to show me how to work that coffeemaker again. I just can't get the darn thing to work for me.  
  
  
The next morning, the offices of John's Tenchi Muyo! Page are already bustling with activity by the time John strolled in, late as usual. He waited all morning for Kiyone to grab her breakfast Egg McMuffin, but she never showed up. Maybe Kiyone isn't feeling well.  
"Cheryl, did Kiyone come in for work yet?" he inquired with his secretary.  
"Not yet. I haven't seen her since yesterday," she replied.  
"Well, tell me if she gets here. I'll be in my office." With that, John unlocked the door to his office and closed it behind him. As always, he shut the blinds as soon as he entered. Everyone continued with their work, and the day seemed to go by as normal, for about 30 seconds.  
It was then that a girlish scream could be heard from John's small sanctum, quickly catching the attention of all of his employees. Everything went quiet as John slowly opened his door.  
"Hey, Cheryl? I, um, saw a mouse in there. And I think that Kiyone should get an extension for her column deadline. She's been working pretty hard lately, and the world can wait a week to hear her advice. Oh, if anyone needs to see me, tell them I'm busy. And get my 'Sounds of the Sea' tapes. I'm feeling a bit tense right now. Well, get back to work everyone!" He rubbed the sweat off the back of his neck, walked back in his office, and shut the door again.  
  
Meanwhile, Kiyone had already set up a little spot on the beach for her to sunbathe. She stretched out on a large beach towel, one hand clasping an ice cold tropical beverage, the other one laying near her sun screen. I've been out here a while, she thought. What time is it? She leaned over and found the small clock from her beach bag. She had been in the sun for 3 hours. Everyone from work should be going to lunch  
right about now. I wonder how John is doing. Even though he's a pervert, maybe I should've given him the news in person. He probably freaked out when he saw the note. Maybe I should give him a call on the...  
"Excuse me, Miss Makibi?" It was one of the attendants of the resort.  
"Yes, that's me."  
"I believe it's time for your massage. Edwardo doesn't like to be kept waiting."  
"Oh, sure. I was just going go to back to my room anyway." A massage is just what Kiyone needed to relax. Well, John can take care of himself. Right now, it's Kiyone's time.  
  
THE END  
  
  
If you want to read Kiyone's regular advice column, go to  
John's Tenchi Muyo! Page at:  
http://www.geocities.com/theincredibledancingquatre  
  
email your comments to dancingquatre@gundamwing.net 


End file.
